09 May 2012

Feelings at 23:00

I was reading Annebeth's blog the other day and she struck on something that I've been feeling for weeks, or maybe even months and its that I'm having a bit of a crisis. She calls it an existential (style)crisis, for me however its more a crisis of identity. My life drastically changed and very quickly, but now I'm not really sure who I am in this life I whipped up into reality. Who am I sitting here in my own apartment? I'm listening to the rain and relishing in the sound every passing car makes because it reminds me of the street noise from home. Surprisingly where I am in NYC is quieter than my main-road house on Long Island. I'm a bit homesick at this time of night.
To quote Annebeth, "What do I want to take in and what do I throw out."
That right there says a lot more about life than whats in my closet. Funnily enough, its manifesting itself exactly as it sounds. An overwhelming dissatisfaction with my clothes and who they represent is driving me a little crazy is a pretty good example of me having an identity crisis. I have a style blog for crying out loud and I have no idea what my style is right now because I'm not even sure who I am. The transition to a new job and new home were quick and my emotions, feelings, outlook and style reflective of myself are taking a bit longer to catch up.
And so, I wear things on repeat. Comfortable, simple outfits that are work appropriate and made up mostly of classics and staples. Like my apartment and job, those clothes are just the pieces of a foundation for my life going forward. What do I take in, or throw out?

17 comments

  1. This post. Seriously. I've been going through similar emotions, trying to figure out myself, and since my style is a reflection of myself, it's kind of been an evolving mess. You're looking lovely as always, and I know things will work out for you lady

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  2. Yes. Yes to this, I have these feelings. I've had a bit of a rough time lately, things I thought were constant and future are gone, and I'm sitting here in my usual feeling weird and staring at my wardrobe like it's a stranger. Hopefully with time we'll all sort ourselves out, it's no fun feeling weird in one's clothes!

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  3. I say, try out different styles so you can decide what you like best. The necklace is very cute btw.

    -Jaz
    http://summerlilacs.blogspot.com/

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  4. A new follower of your lovely blog.Your sentiments are definitely shared by me right now.My mornings have recently spent contemplating whether my style should 'grow up' and into what..or if I should remain the girl in her mid twenties that loves the shortest skirts and often gets confused for a teenager.Either way,your style and its transitions are lovely.

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  5. A new follower of your lovely blog.Your sentiments are definitely shared by me right now.My mornings have recently spent contemplating whether my style should 'grow up' and into what..or if I should remain the girl in her mid twenties that loves the shortest skirts and often gets confused for a teenager.Either way,your style and its transitions are lovely.

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  6.  I love the plaid shirt and his shoes is also beautiful! What a beautiful blue kettle! All very cute! Kisses from Brazil

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  7. You're not alone.  Change often brings questions and discomfort.  But you're on the right track.  We all need to discover who we are at our core and you're contemplating that.  It's good you're doing this now rather than later in life.

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  8. I'm sure part of it is seasonal, as shifting from winter to summer is always awkward clothes-wise, but I know you're not alone in the dissatisfaction.  The last two mornings I've tried to drag myself out to take photos and I haven't, simply because I cannot think of a thing to wear that is an outfit, rather than just clothes.

    Cue the black pants on endless repeat....

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  9. I'm almost in the same boat, but because I'm graduating from college and need a job. So there's what I want to wear and what I need to wear, and I'm packing right now and feel like I hate all my clothes. Wamp wah. 

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  10. I went through a really intense phase like that back in early 2010, and it led to a crazy change in my life and personality and who I considered myself to be as a person. It's funny how tied in we are to our clothing and how we don't notice that until they don't quite fit anymore. It's almost like I was impersonating who I used to be back when I still wore those clothes. Mostly now my style has moved on but I kept a few of my favourites, for memory's sake. I put them on sometimes, and think of wearing them out, but it always feels too much like a costume.

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  11. aw. well you are lovely no matter what you wear and no matter who you are. I love this outfit very much.

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  12. So with you on this. I started a new job in Jan which has changed by schedule quite a bit, plus the weather and various things have meant I just often feel quite dissatisfied with my clothing decisions. I feel really strongly that I want what I wear to represent 'me' but as you say figuring out what I want to say is actually quite hard to work out. Although cardigans do always go with everything.

    Also thanks for pointing me towards Annabeth's blog - so good!

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  13. I like how you describe your situation, and I think acknowledging is the first step to change. (you must have heard this many, many times before... I'm sorry) But I think it's only normal to feel that way every once in a while, maybe you just need a bit of 'you-time' and figure out, as you go.

    On another note, I do really like your outfit. (I really like things simple, but nice and you're pulling that off!) :)

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  14. I hope it was clear from my post that I actually saw the style/wardrobe bit as mostly a metaphor for me feeling detached from who I thought I was and where I thought I was going. It translates into my style, but the cause lies a lot deeper. Just the same thing as you are experiencing :) I love your style though! Simple, cute but not cutesy, slightly preppy, slightly retro and very fresh :) I can't wait to see what your style will evolv into. I'm sure it will be amazing :)

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  15. I've been grappling with something quite similar myself-- I went from living in an apartment in TN to being back with my folks.. a very strange transition-- and then back to style as of who do I want to be? It's funny how much a person can change in such a short time, circumstances easily affecting so much. Anywho, I'm rambling, but please know that this post really struck a chord with me.

    ps: I'd be thrilled to have you contribute to the feature. 

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  16. I think, one day soon you will turn the key to your little apartment's front door and will feel exactly like you are coming home. It always takes a while to get that feeling, and before that everything is a little bit uneasy. But after, it is wonderful. :)

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  17. I'm sure you'll figure everything out soon! Everyone goes through changes and has mini crises once in a while.  Everything will turn out for the best and will settle in soon.
    You still look incredibly cute in whatever you wear. I really like this outfit built of classic pieces!

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